A Quiet, Vivid Dream

I awoke from an interesting dream one morning. I dreamt I was sitting in a library to write an exam for which I had not studied - a common theme of my dreams when I feel unprepared for what life involves at the time. The test had 4 small photos per row, which I was supposed to classify as showing N (nouns), V (verbs), or 2 other categories WW or EE.

I thought to myself "To finish faster, I will go through the whole page and identify the nouns first”. 

There seemed to be quite a few, and I decided before long that I should check what the other categories meant first. I discovered in the chapter before the test that WW meant "things that seem to be bad at first, then turn out to be good". EE represented "things that appear good, but then turn out to be bad". I now wished I had read the examples in the chapter to understand the pictures, but it was too late - the test was now, and time was limited.

At this point there was an interruption by someone in the dream whose comment reminded me it was recently the anniversary of my mother's passing, and implied that I was too old to have a mom anymore. I disliked both the interruption and the remark, so I decided not to call him later as I had been asked to do.

Returning to the exam, 4 pictures on the bottom row were now brief video clips of rain. One showed rain dripping on romaine lettuce leaves, and another rain falling into a puddle with brown leaves off a tree. I reasoned that rain might enable romaine leaves to stay fresh, which could be good. But what did rain falling on brown leaves mean? And with rain in all 4 frames, when was it a noun vs a verb? It became quite confusing, and I started to think this test could take more time than I had! So to work faster, I decided to think of examples, and then look for pictures of them on the test. 

I thought of peony plants: how ants that crawl on them may appear to be bad, yet are helpful for the flowers to open. I began to search for an image of a peony, then I awoke. Was there an interpretation to the dream?

Ecclesiastes 5:7 NIV tells us that "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless" so not every dream holds wisdom, but sometimes we do glean from them. The Bible verse I thought of was: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)

So like a riddle, the answer to the question in the dream "Will this turn out neutral, good or bad?" may lie in the answer to this: "It depends who is asking". If it is someone who loves God then all things, no matter how they seem, will be used for our good.

It Happens In Thousands of Livingrooms!

"If you only had one week to live, and could write something guaranteed to impact 1000 people, what would you write?" This question was posed at a writers' workshop I attended, and this was my response: "I would write about Bible Study groups, and why I like them so much". As an introvert they really suit my style, and here is why:

• I like to learn, and as the name implies these studies focus in-depth on topics or sections of the Bible. Excellent study guides and videos are also available for leaders and members which encourage participation and consistency.
• Study groups are often small, which makes it comfortable to interact and share. It's fun to hear spiritual insights from others.
• It's encouraging to hear others pray aloud and pray with them. I learn from this too.
• Often groups meet in homes, which can strengthen friendships.
• Whether a collection is taken is up to the group, and many do not.
• There's always something new to study regardless how long a group meets, whether for a season or years.
• I find it easier to invite a friend to a small group than to a large church service. 
• For a change of pace, invite someone to share their testimony as a speaker.
• Bible studies are a way to find wisdom, solve problems, gain insight, and feel loved by God and others.

I don't know whether this will impact 1000 people - and sadly not everyone is free to gather this way - but I would love it if blessings I've received from such groups would be multiplied to others. Plus, these small gatherings greatly resemble the way Jesus' followers met with Him and continued to spread the word.

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. - Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 NIV

A Present From The Past

I actually forgot I asked for it until the gift arrived, but once I saw it I knew just who it was from.
As Christmas was approaching, I thought often about my mom. It was a few years ago that she died, after a prolonged illness. The condition had slowly affected her muscles to the point that she couldn't walk, speak, focus her eyes, or finally even swallow. However she could still smile and squeeze my hand, to show she loved me.
As I grew up, she was the one who decorated our house, bought us lovely presents, and made delicious Christmas dinners. Not in a pretentious way either, that wasn't Mom. More in a loving, faithful way. But as her illness took those abilities from her, our family each did what they could to continue the gatherings.
But this year, my memory of Mom in earlier times seemed less clear. So privately, I asked God to make her memory more vivid. I had no idea how this could happen - through a dream perhaps? And as I got busier preparing for Christmas, I soon forgot my request.
Christmas Day arrived, and we were visiting my family when my brother invited me to watch a video on his computer. "Here is something I'm giving you", he said. The short clip was originally filmed to send our Christmas wishes to my niece in 2007, when she couldn't come home. As the camera panned across the room, each of us gave a little wave and our greeting. The end of the video focused on Mom, seated in her wheelchair. Dad said "C'mon Grandma, ..." and she turned, looked right into the camera, smiled, waved, and said Merry Christmas!
We were all moved watching it, and my heart was touched even more when I recalled my prayer, and recognized this beautiful gift was the answer.

9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11 NIV

How The Ice Cube Melted

I used to feel so confused by peoples' behaviour, constantly questioning why people did or didn't do certain things. I really wanted to know, but no one would explain it to me. They would listen, then move on to something else.

Had they told me people often acted as they did because of feelings, I would likely have argued the point. I thought we were rational creatures, guided by the mind and ways we were taught to behave.

Then a mentor entered my life who began to ask me about my own feelings, and listen. I thought it odd that she was unnecessarily concerned about such things. But I really liked this person because she took such an interest in me, and her attention felt great.

Over time she helped me work through problems, taught me to treat myself well, and to pay attention to my own feelings. Suddenly the world made more sense to me: whether in constructive or destructive ways, mindfully or not, people were acting on their desires. So was I, and aware of it now I felt more alive, more self esteem, and more capable of loving others.


"And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of our father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought." - 1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV

Self Worth Begins

Many people give up on their dreams. They yearn to do what they love, but compromise to "earn a living". But doing what we love can be empty too if it doesn't benefit others, and many know that a job that pays well doesn't necessarily bring satisfaction. We are each designed to make a contribution to society in our own way, a satisfying way that builds self-worth. Just like glasses help us to see, God helps us to clearly envision the unique contributions each of us make.

1 Samuel 26:24 (NIV) "As surely as I valued your life today, so may the Lord value my life and deliver me from all trouble."

Small Medium, or Large?

When I was young, I was curious about fortunetellers, mediums, and telekinesis. I wanted to know things by supernatural means, and have special skills that others admired so they would respect me. I was gifted with a high IQ, but nobody seemed to credit me with knowing answers about much (except on exams). Even now I read books about the gifts of the Holy Spirit and miracles, still hoping for supernatural power from a Christian vantage point. It's hard to be ordinary, to just live in the natural world where people get sick, unexpected things happen, and it seems like few want to hear about Christianity. I do believe God has supernatural power, but that most times He works within the natural system He created to bring things about. I guess what I really desired all along was to be listened to and respected, not really to be magical.
Leviticus 19:31 )(NIV)  "Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God."

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Everything was in place for a new venture, and I was ready to begin, but nothing happened.  I lost confidence, thinking maybe it was a message that I should give up and try something else. How long should I keep trying? It's embarrassing to share an intention with people, only to have it land on the discard pile. And why does so much trial and error end up as "error"? But the message I feel in my heart, and hear in the voices of my trusted friends is not to give up but to "wait", with the comforting words that "help may already be on the way".*


* "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (Proverbs 15:22 NIV)