Disaster, With a Chance Of Rain.

One night I watched the news for a few minutes before bed, and felt so troubled afterward I wasn't sure I could sleep! Then I changed channels to check the weather forecast, and saw disasters happening around the world. Even when I avoid the news for awhile, I still hear heart wrenching stories from people around me, which add to my own worries. Yet I know the Lord wants me to love others, so how can I maintain faith and hope in the face of risks, disasters, and tragedies like we hear about each day? And how can I stop worrying when there is so much that can go wrong?

One way I interrupt troubled thoughts is to use this verse:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8 NIV. 

It helps to choose each word and think about something that fits that description. For example, can I think of something "admirable"?

Also I consider these 2 scriptures, and what they mean to me when read together:

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6 NIV

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 NIV

So I remind myself that God rewards those who earnestly seek him, and works in all things for the good of those who love him. When facing a bad situation, I say to myself "God will bring good out of this." Granted, thinking it does not always make me 'feel' the certainty I would like to! But as I begin to align my thinking with the scriptures I will see examples of it happen, then more faith will grow.

Why Some People Stop Believing

I recently watched a documentary about clergy people who are apostate, who formerly had faith but no longer believe in the supernatural aspect of Christianity - which of course means they no longer believe in God. Some continued to perform their clergy jobs in secret or defiance, others joined humanist or atheist movements, and some missed the fellowship of church life and started Sunday gatherings like church services without reference to God or the Bible. I watched this wary of deception, but curious about what caused their loss of faith.
One idea expressed was this: "If there is a loving God, why would He allow this ________________  (fill in blank with something awful witnessed or experienced) to happen? Since [awful things] happen, I don't believe in God." Their thinking had led them to judge God, rather than the other way around. Some chose a humanist view, believing in the value of fallible but visible humans, while God was blamed or dismissed for not stopping evil as if this were an evil in itself, or proof of non-existence.
I admit that when fears and horrors arise, it can be hard to sense that God is present or responding to prayer. And yet, I've never read a scripture that says "everything will be perfect on earth all the time, and by the good fortune of everyone there, you will know God exists." This is not heaven, it is earth! Rather than disproving God's existence, these actually prove EXACTLY what the Bible talks about - that sin exists. We are warned that man is sinful, and that other unseen evil forces are also at work here encouraging this.
I believe that God has the power to stop whatever He wants to. He created it all, and it is within His ability to end or control it all, or parts of it. Many times, for example, God intervenes and people are guided to safety*, or obstacles stop sinful acts from being carried out.
Other times He does not intervene, and far be it from me to presume to answer why. It could be that a greater good we don't know or appreciate will result from the event, or perhaps that God has built in certain bodily responses during trauma or dying that prevent it from being unbearable and unending, despite being frightening to witness.
I hope fear and disappointment never derail my faith (or yours). I hope that we pray often enough in good times that God's blessings strengthen our faith, so that when challenging times come the gratitude in our spirit does not give up to the doubts in our mind.

* Matthew 2:13 NIV [ The Escape to Egypt ] "When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”

Psalm 14:1 NIV [ For the director of music. Of David. ] "The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good."

A Quiet, Vivid Dream

I awoke from an interesting dream one morning. I dreamt I was sitting in a library to write an exam for which I had not studied - a common theme of my dreams when I feel unprepared for what life involves at the time. The test had 4 small photos per row, which I was supposed to classify as showing N (nouns), V (verbs), or 2 other categories WW or EE.

I thought to myself "To finish faster, I will go through the whole page and identify the nouns first”. 

There seemed to be quite a few, and I decided before long that I should check what the other categories meant first. I discovered in the chapter before the test that WW meant "things that seem to be bad at first, then turn out to be good". EE represented "things that appear good, but then turn out to be bad". I now wished I had read the examples in the chapter to understand the pictures, but it was too late - the test was now, and time was limited.

At this point there was an interruption by someone in the dream whose comment reminded me it was recently the anniversary of my mother's passing, and implied that I was too old to have a mom anymore. I disliked both the interruption and the remark, so I decided not to call him later as I had been asked to do.

Returning to the exam, 4 pictures on the bottom row were now brief video clips of rain. One showed rain dripping on romaine lettuce leaves, and another rain falling into a puddle with brown leaves off a tree. I reasoned that rain might enable romaine leaves to stay fresh, which could be good. But what did rain falling on brown leaves mean? And with rain in all 4 frames, when was it a noun vs a verb? It became quite confusing, and I started to think this test could take more time than I had! So to work faster, I decided to think of examples, and then look for pictures of them on the test. 

I thought of peony plants: how ants that crawl on them may appear to be bad, yet are helpful for the flowers to open. I began to search for an image of a peony, then I awoke. Was there an interpretation to the dream?

Ecclesiastes 5:7 NIV tells us that "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless" so not every dream holds wisdom, but sometimes we do glean from them. The Bible verse I thought of was: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)

So like a riddle, the answer to the question in the dream "Will this turn out neutral, good or bad?" may lie in the answer to this: "It depends who is asking". If it is someone who loves God then all things, no matter how they seem, will be used for our good.

It Happens In Thousands of Livingrooms!

"If you only had one week to live, and could write something guaranteed to impact 1000 people, what would you write?" This question was posed at a writers' workshop I attended, and this was my response: "I would write about Bible Study groups, and why I like them so much". As an introvert they really suit my style, and here is why:

• I like to learn, and as the name implies these studies focus in-depth on topics or sections of the Bible. Excellent study guides and videos are also available for leaders and members which encourage participation and consistency.
• Study groups are often small, which makes it comfortable to interact and share. It's fun to hear spiritual insights from others.
• It's encouraging to hear others pray aloud and pray with them. I learn from this too.
• Often groups meet in homes, which can strengthen friendships.
• Whether a collection is taken is up to the group, and many do not.
• There's always something new to study regardless how long a group meets, whether for a season or years.
• I find it easier to invite a friend to a small group than to a large church service. 
• For a change of pace, invite someone to share their testimony as a speaker.
• Bible studies are a way to find wisdom, solve problems, gain insight, and feel loved by God and others.

I don't know whether this will impact 1000 people - and sadly not everyone is free to gather this way - but I would love it if blessings I've received from such groups would be multiplied to others. Plus, these small gatherings greatly resemble the way Jesus' followers met with Him and continued to spread the word.

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. - Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 NIV

Is Fasting 'Just Another Diet'?

Okay I'll admit it, losing a couple pounds over 24 hours is a definite motivator when I fast, but I have noticed other benefits as well. 

A glass of water can help relieve hunger when fasting.

The period I choose begins after breakfast, then I just have liquids until lunch the next day. I like this timing because it only requires one night of fasting instead of two. Sometimes I barely feel hunger while fasting and it passes quickly, while other times I may get a little shaky. Eventually there's a point when my body begins to convert more stored energy from itself instead of food. Skipping only one meal doesn't seem to get me to that point, and often just makes me eat more the next meal. The longer fast is needed, and here are other benefits I notice:

• Even though I only lose a couple pounds fasting, it seems to improve my metabolism for a few days afterward.
• During the fast my appetite settles down, and I realize I am not a 'slave' to food.
• Fasting also shows me how dependant I am on eating for reasons other than hunger. Do I snack to cheer myself up while working? How do I use the extra time while fasting, do I enjoy other things in life when food is absent?
• Fasting allows time for my body to recover from food sensitivities. Apart from this, a break from genetically modified or artificial foods and preservatives might benefit anyone.
• Fasting improves my weight and appearance.
• In addition to my own health, I sometimes dedicate a fast to 'a cause'. To avoid the "I'm fasting so you owe me" attitude, I may instead ask God if there is something He would like me to fast on behalf of.*

I definitely don't fast perfectly, or as regularly as might be best. Sometimes to coax myself, I allow tea in addition to water. Or I may promise myself something special for lunch the next day, as an incentive. For me it's about the willingness to try, and then see what happens.**

*(Isaiah 58:6 NIV) “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?"

**(Matthew 6:16-18 NIV) 16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Note: I am not a medical professional and this is just my personal experience with fasting, not a recommendation.

What Everyone Knows About, But Nobody Can Do.

Have Christians got exclusive knowledge about right and wrong? I think even a quick look at other religions and philosophies (even atheism) would suggest that we all share many beliefs about moral behaviour. Studies show that even babies react when they witness unfair or hurtful actions. So if all people have a knowledge of right and wrong, what difference does Christianity make? There are many answers to that, but here is just one.

Despite their knowledge about right and wrong, people often act unethically in order to get by, or to gain an advantage. No one except Jesus avoided this. However, Christian faith can improve the ability to carry out moral decisions. How does this happen? Well, "...faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1 NIV). We grow to believe that God will take care of our needs, safety, and purpose, which enables us to live with less fear*. And each time we experience God's provision of these things, our faith is reinforced. This enables Christians to rely more on God and less on themselves over time, and as a result to act with less fear and selfishness than they did before. 

*So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NIV

If It Could Happen For This Tomato, Why Not Us?

 It didn't look like much at first, just a little tomato plant supported by a chopstick! I wasn't even sure whether to plant it because I'd had dismal results trying to grow one two years ago. The pot kept tipping over, and when the tomatoes began to grow they developed a blight and rotted. Sigh.

So I researched this time, and this is what I learned: apparently you can either use stakes or cages to support tomatoes, or let them sprawl if there is room. Caging helps the whole plant hold itself up, while staking helps keep individual tomatoes off the ground while they grow. Left to itself the tomato can still grow fruit, but may face more challenges touching the ground such as insects or wet soil.

Suddenly I thought "Can you imagine being able to make so much happen, or having an idea so huge that you couldn't easily support it alone?" Sure, I have participated on teams and group projects before, but I never thought about anything large originating from me.
However, if God grows tomatoes from a scrawny plant like the one shown, imagine what he plans for each of us? Or maybe we'd rather be the stakes or supports for someone else's big idea. Either way, the fact remains that great things can grow from small beginnings, when given the right support.

Tomatoes are coming!

" I will look on you with favour and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you." Leviticus 26:9

Postscript: When we finally harvested, this single plant produced over 70 tomatoes! Amazing :)

A Present From The Past

I actually forgot I asked for it until the gift arrived, but once I saw it I knew just who it was from.
As Christmas was approaching, I thought often about my mom. It was a few years ago that she died, after a prolonged illness. The condition had slowly affected her muscles to the point that she couldn't walk, speak, focus her eyes, or finally even swallow. However she could still smile and squeeze my hand, to show she loved me.
As I grew up, she was the one who decorated our house, bought us lovely presents, and made delicious Christmas dinners. Not in a pretentious way either, that wasn't Mom. More in a loving, faithful way. But as her illness took those abilities from her, our family each did what they could to continue the gatherings.
But this year, my memory of Mom in earlier times seemed less clear. So privately, I asked God to make her memory more vivid. I had no idea how this could happen - through a dream perhaps? And as I got busier preparing for Christmas, I soon forgot my request.
Christmas Day arrived, and we were visiting my family when my brother invited me to watch a video on his computer. "Here is something I'm giving you", he said. The short clip was originally filmed to send our Christmas wishes to my niece in 2007, when she couldn't come home. As the camera panned across the room, each of us gave a little wave and our greeting. The end of the video focused on Mom, seated in her wheelchair. Dad said "C'mon Grandma, ..." and she turned, looked right into the camera, smiled, waved, and said Merry Christmas!
We were all moved watching it, and my heart was touched even more when I recalled my prayer, and recognized this beautiful gift was the answer.

9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11 NIV

The Perky Impostor

A hollow, plastic squirrel sits at the base of a tree in our yard. It's perky, more realistic than cartoonish, and is located where actual squirrels frequent. Of course, like all manmade replicas of nature, there's a sad, lifeless quality to it. But it also represents a cheerful scene, so consequently it stays (for now).
Like that imitation squirrel, I sometimes feel like an introverted replica of what an extraverted person is supposed to be. Not 'real' enough as myself to measure up, as though the world were an expensive, exclusive store where the salesclerk looked me over, and was not impressed. That fragile outer shell can seem so important. But now, as I grow more aware of what's inside me - the eternal conscious part - I feel less breakable and misfit. What others see is not all there is to consider. I am spiritually alive, and can sense it.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

Rx For A Better Life

Karl Marx once said of religion, "It is the opium of the people. The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is required for their real happiness. The demand to give up the illusion about its condition is the demand to give up a condition which needs illusions." (in "Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right"). 
This seemed to suggest religion is an empty way to calm the emotions and numb the pain like an opiate would, giving an illusory hope of future well-being, and inward ideas that help overlook actual problems.
Calm feelings, peace amidst trials, and hope may indeed accompany spiritual beliefs, but I question this general view about religion for a few reasons;

• First, not all believers are oppressed or economically distressed. Some current (and historical) believers have prospered and lived comfortably.*
• It's notable that oppressive governments tend to persecute rather than promote Christianity. Clearly, they don't believe it creates compliant, sedated individuals who are easy to control, as the term 'opiate' would imply.
• Inward ideas about religion don't always calm the emotions. Some people put a lot at risk when they venture to become a Christian, and may face added persecution.
• Lastly, the idea overlooks actual changes wisdom can bring about. A few really good decisions can alter one's course in life. People who put wisdom into practice experience actual changes, not just abstract ideas that make them hopeful**.

If there really was a pill that could deliver character as Christianity does, people would line the streets to get it! When Christians show character during tough times, it is not because they are in denial about the suffering. It's because they persevere in their faith in spite of it, and this strengthens their relationship with God.***

* Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year reaped a hundredfold, because the Lord blessed him. 13 The man became rich, and his wealth continued to grow until he became very wealthy. Genesis 26:12-13 NIV 

** Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it. Ecclesiastes 7:12 NIV

*** 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4 NIV

Has A Prayer Been Answered If A Miracle Doesn't Occur?

A person who rated a Christian movie wrote that, in their opinion, it did not contain enough supernatural events for a movie about God, that the things shown "could have happened anyway". Another thought the movie "brilliant". This challenged me to consider how I would explain to someone why I believe God is involved in everyday events that are not miraculous in the literal sense, but rather unfold in ordinary ways. When I first heard Christians refer to coincidental events as "God-incidences," I thought it a quaint way to explain how answers to prayer often seem. But occasionally I felt confused by the way prayers were answered; such as when events were underway before the prayer was even spoken, or when they clearly granted a long held - but unspoken - 'heart's desire*'. Were they still answers to prayer?
My understanding later broadened to accept that while we are within time and space, God - the Creator of it all - is not constrained by those same limitations. He entered our world and lives within us, but also exists outside of time to arrange when things unfold, and can use any channels at His disposal (eg. all of creation and more**) to answer a prayer or need. Viewed this way, it seems odd that we would expect Him to be uninvolved with what we experience as everyday life. Miracles, then - when the laws of nature related to time and space are momentarily suspended - are more likely to be the exception.

*"You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." Psalm 145:16

**"But when Christ came as high priest of the good things that are now already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not made with human hands, that is to say, is not a part of this creation." Hebrews 9:11 NIV

An excellent book on the topic is "Miracles" by C.S. Lewis.

How The Ice Cube Melted

I used to feel so confused by peoples' behaviour, constantly questioning why people did or didn't do certain things. I really wanted to know, but no one would explain it to me. They would listen, then move on to something else.

Had they told me people often acted as they did because of feelings, I would likely have argued the point. I thought we were rational creatures, guided by the mind and ways we were taught to behave.

Then a mentor entered my life who began to ask me about my own feelings, and listen. I thought it odd that she was unnecessarily concerned about such things. But I really liked this person because she took such an interest in me, and her attention felt great.

Over time she helped me work through problems, taught me to treat myself well, and to pay attention to my own feelings. Suddenly the world made more sense to me: whether in constructive or destructive ways, mindfully or not, people were acting on their desires. So was I, and aware of it now I felt more alive, more self esteem, and more capable of loving others.


"And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of our father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought." - 1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV

Yeeee-OUCH!

Physical pain was something I had to deal with for awhile. Oh, I'd had minor things in the past, but this level was something new. When it happened it was like a hammer struck, or I stubbed a toe - times 10! Sometimes when it suddenly, intensely hurt, I heard a stream of swear words pour out of me as I clutched, crumpled, and waited for it to subside. Realizing it was not going to be a one time thing, I began to wonder if I could learn to respond in a better way. When I think of Jesus' suffering, such as when they drove nails through His hands, in my imagination I never envisioned Him swearing. Crying out in pain, perhaps, but not swearing*. So, although anger seems to rise so quickly when I hurt, I am trying to learn to express the pain without the course language. (And today I am grateful that my body has healed, and I feel better). 

^{*Matthew 27:50 NIV  "}And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit."

Life's Seasons Not As Expected

I always thought seasons in life corresponded with our physical growth: spring as youth, summer as adulthood, autumn as middle age, and winter as old age - complete with white hair like snow. This resulted in a somewhat bleak image of old age, and also concerned me because I 
was not prospering when I thought I should be.

However I recently read a description* of the seasons that began with winter, a time when roots spread below the surface in preparation for the future. The author pointed out that there is no harvest during winter. The hard work of planting begins in spring, then summer is characterized by lots of growth and attention, but with minimal harvest. Finally, in autumn there is plenty of harvest achieved with less effort.

I'm not sure our physical environment need be inhospitable for us to experience "winter" in our lives. It can be a time when, try as we might, nothing grows. Or when our enthusiasm or energy are weak. When we are dependant for our provision. The lack of visible results can cause self doubt, and blame from others may cause embarrassment.

Take heart if you find yourself in a period of winter. Spring comes, but like other seasons cannot be forced. In the meantime, it helps to accept that winter happens. Growth beneath the surface prepares us for spring, while kindness comforts those whose lives seem on hold. 
Job 5:26 NIV says "You will come to the grave in full vigour, like sheaves gathered in season." Although death may seem imminent during winter, the person in this scripture lived through it and went on to feel vigorous and reap a harvest before they died. So we have scriptural support that winter can indeed be the beginning of a spiritual journey, and our best days could lie ahead.

* p. 115-116, "Be Yourself, Discover the Life You Were Meant to Live", by John Mason, Baker Publishing Group, 2011.

Shopping for Souvenirs

I browsed a rack covered with small pins in a souvenir store. Not collector pins, but ones with brash little sayings about marijuana, rock music, and beer -inexpensive bait for the frugal tourist shopper. Among them I noticed one that said "Jesus loves you, but I'm his favourite". Seeing this among the others did bring to mind some interesting questions. Apart from that - and being his favourite - I purchased the pin!
Of course, it's not really accurate, "for God does not show favouritism" (Romans 2:11 NIV). Yet it touches on a lovely idea: each believer being so loved that they all feel like His favourite. To me, the teasing humour also conveys "Jesus loves you" to readers in a disarming way. At least I hope it's disarming, like all humour it could be misinterpreted. But my hope is it will convey this idea, and also bring a smile.

Water, Water Everywhere, But Not a Drop To Drink

What is the point of writing, I wondered, when there are already so many words? Books have been written, article after article, daily news stories, and now billions of words added daily online. Writing seems as useful as spitting into the ocean.
But then I considered water: even though it is common enough to cover the earth, it's not all drinkable. The largest bodies of water are too salty. Even when floods appear, the water becomes contaminated by dirt and ruined objects. And there are still places where droughts happen, though nature continuously recirculates water through evaporation to move, restore and refresh it. And even fresh rain can be contaminated in air by man's pollution.
Like drops of water, many words out there do not bring life. They discourage, frighten, deceive or mislead. It's not just water that's needed but fresh, living water, and it is not just words that are needed, but life-giving words.

"For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water shall flow from the inmost being of anyone who believes in me." John 7:38 (TLB)

Title based on quote from Samuel Taylor Coleridge in "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

Saving Private Ryan

Saving Private Ryan is a graphic and intense war movie* about a mission to save a soldier in Normandy during World War II because he is the last survivor of 4 brothers, the other 3 killed in action.
Many of those sent to save him are also killed on the mission to return her last son to the grieving mother.
This film makes me think of the responsibility each of us has to reach each others' families. Often our loved ones don't listen to us about Christianity, but if each of us shares the good news in our own way, the families of those around us might be rescued. I hope someone will reach my brother in time!

And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.” (Matthew 13:57 NIV)

*Released in 1998 by Dreamworks and Paramount Pictures

Pets In The Sunshine

My two dogs squint in the bright daylight, and enjoy the slight breeze that makes hair flutter, and gently cools my skin as I sit on the back step. They pant-smile and sniff around the yard. Less at ease is my pet bird. Hauled outside in her cage, she sees unfamiliar 'greenness', hears wild birds, and feels outdoor air in her tiny lungs. Cautiously she chirps, as a fly loudly buzzes past. As I compare her small quarters to the vastness outside, I realize there is a vastness around all of us, and only a tiny part of the world's experiences that any of us ever really touch - contained by our limitations of time, body, opportunity, finances, ownership, imagination, ability and motivation, to name a few.

Job 38:18a "Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?"

Why Are There So Many Singers?

It seems odd to me that so many people can sing. And many others are able to play music, paint, dance, write, or act - yet there are so few jobs that engage these talents.  I've heard that only 2% of those capable of singing get to work professionally in this field. How puzzling that so many people would be equipped with talents that seemingly are not needed.  
And yet, our spiritual commission is to carry the gospel throughout the world. I can't help but wonder if the pleasure the arts provide was so people would carry and hear the message with great enjoyment.

Mark 16:15 NIV  He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."

What Is This Boat's Secret?

Anchored with a plain yellow rope down into the lake, a small aluminum boat covered with a blue tarp bobs in the waves off the shore. Floating there for hours, it detracts from the view of the popular pier nearby. But that little boat was built for speed, and would be fun in spite of it's plain appearance.

Many folks fit that description too. They may not keep up with the newest ideas or fit into flashy surroundings, but they often have gifts that are really a blessing if you give them a chance to shine.

Acts 4:13 NIV  "When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."

Green and Growing

It's a plant the height of a seedling, but with thick stems and large leaves. In the past it grew lanky, so I cut off the healthy parts, rooted and replanted them. The old growth was discarded along with the crusted old pot, and a new glass one gave it a modern fresh look. 

I usually think of pruning as getting rid of new irregular shoots, but sometimes I keep that part and start over because it's where growth is more vigorous and the leaves most healthy. 

I think people usually have healthy areas of their lives to focus on when a fresh start is needed too. We may trim back to our original roots, or eliminate old growth in favour of a thriving, new direction.

Isaiah 20:21-22
²¹ 21 Then all your people will be righteous and they will possess the land forever.
They are the shoot I have planted, the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor.
²² 22 The least of you will become a thousand, the smallest a mighty nation.
I am the Lord; in its time I will do this swiftly.”

Bug Guts

I plunge my microfibre cloth back into the warm soapy water, then work some more on the bug-splattered bumper and insect body parts wedged in the grill. As I scrub I think of my life, working hard to remove the scraps and bits from past injuries, my support group a sort of graveyard for lost souls like those on the bumper of this car. 
Not that I was completely finished, but parts of my life - my youth, my marriage, my early dreams - were dashed to pieces by the unstoppable force of a family member's drinking. Our capacity to heal is amazing, however. With the parts still intact, I learned to avoid more collisions and to gently comfort those still clinging to difficult relationships.

Psalm 34:18 NIV: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Socks Disappear, But Mugs Multiply!

Cups used to multiply in my cupboard; ones with company logos, funny sayings, photographs and verses. Some arrived full of candy and wrapped in cellophane, others were earned, adopted, or left by former roommates. As such, they were full of stories and memories - even while empty - and I felt responsible to honor the memories by keeping those cups, even though at times I felt embarrassed by their unmatched informality.
Recently, I decided to have cups that were selected, and realized some of my old cups didn't even represent things I wanted to remember. So, I got rid of a few.
My new mugs are large ones in muted, solid colours: burgundy, blue, beige, grey. They are peaceful, replaceable, and chosen. I still keep a few mementos around, but they're not just what life handed me - they're what I chose to have and keep.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. (Psalm 16:5 NIV)

Too Little to Love?

Perched high in a tree, it's nose and feet are pinkish as though made to look like a child's stuffed toy. But the eyes of the opossum are not like a domestic animal, they have the determination of a creature that must always be vigilant, - for food, for predators, and even to maintain balance climbing trees.
I notice life does not always favour the tiny and cute, they can be stricken by the same ills that befall others. One might think because of their small stature and appeal that the Lord would spare them trials. The world, on the other hand, preaches survival of the fittest.  But if that were entirely true only large, brutish creatures would remain and our delicate species would have vanished. So while the small may not be favoured, neither are they ignored, but are given their needs just as all are provided for by God.

Luke 12:6

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.

Serious Fun

Dressed in businesslike black, my camera has many symbols in addition to the "Auto" one in green, for the curious to research and the artist to explore. And both would be pleased, the technical mind for the camera's precision and specs, and the creative mind for the excellent results achieved from those same features. 
Sometimes fun comes in lighthearted and silly ways, but I enjoy my camera though it is serious and complex. Likewise, a serious-minded person can bring enjoyment to others by their dedication to careful, precise work. And, unlike the camera, this work also deepens their personal satisfaction.

^{Titus 2:7-8 NIV  7} In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness ⁸ and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Ride On

Strong, sturdy horses of various sizes stand near the stable and wait for a ride. Ears perked forward, some are saddled English, some Western, with small shadows at their feet from the afternoon sun. A blissful day of riding awaits - for the horses as well as riders, for they were not unwillingly harnessed to work but freely invited to the procession. And no one, not horse or human, wanted to miss the opportunity.

This is the picture I discovered on a decorative tin. It captured my imagination, transported me to a world my heart longs for - a place of perfection I imagine briefly before reality calls me back. For "He [God] has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 4:11

Sidelined

One of my biggest worries is that I will die before I ever really make a contribution. I have had jobs and businesses, but never really "connected" in a long term way. Sometimes the work benefits others, but I feel unfulfilled. Or it pleases me, but I fail to successfully enter the marketplace.

I wonder how many introverted people play or sing beautiful music in private, that no one else ever hears. I taught my dog around 20 tricks and she deserves a spotlight, but her master avoids it. And I was once at a memorial service where a collection of lovely, small paintings were stacked on the edge of a table for us to look through, piled like napkins instead of framed and appreciated for the quality they were.

Similarly, many of my introverted friends are intelligent, but unemployed. Instead of being welcomed into decision-making positions and lauded for their thoughtfulness, they worry about their futures, struggle to get interviews, and take positions beneath their abilities. They are looked down upon by people to whom 'success' comes more easily. They are misunderstood, judged, and set aside.

Yes, there are famous introverted people. In every group there are exceptions, but we are generally disdained for our quiet, thoughtful, careful ways.

And worst of all we blame ourselves. Even those who write about traits related to introversion often tell how to 'cope' instead of thrive and celebrate. The gist seems to be "stop apologizing", which is helpful but still short of "start living". And I don't know the answer either, but I guess awareness and acceptance precede action.

The stress takes its toll on my health and my confidence. "Who do you think you are?" sounds off as soon as I square my shoulders. I guess it doesn't matter who we all think we are, for a generation may come and go without knowing the difference we could have made if everyone were appreciated and engaged in suitable roles. The lacklustre performance I have made in talkative, selling jobs will be mirrored in the under performance of extroverted people making quick, confidant, and well-promoted decisions in corporations and churches that should be undertaken with more thought and vision.

While I discover I am not alone in my introversion, I also notice many of us are benched or sidelined, even when the game requires the exact qualities we have.

And, I am disappointed. I am designed to be a servant like everybody else and we deserve not just a chance, but also the respect and excitement about our abilities that others receive. And true, not everyone else receives it either, but at least they are in the game.

Living in the "Later"

One of my personality traits is that I look ahead: I like to plan and look forward to things. In fact, I am happiest looking forward, and seem to forget recent events almost as soon as they happen. I remember them if reminded, but don't spend much time reflecting unless something is wrong that I want to figure out.

It's not that I don't enjoy the present, but the mental activity of planning is like solving a puzzle, or painting a picture. It involves a creativity that I enjoy.

Truth be told, it is often based on past experiences that I imagine future possibilities. But also it is based on scriptures and promises in the Bible of things I may not yet have experienced. One of my favorite books is Ecclesiastes because it contains so much information about what is worth planning for, and what ambitions lead to meaningless results.

^{Ecclesiastes 2:26} To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God.

The Sheepfold

Wooly, pregnant sheep with guardian.

Lambs have arrived.

Babies in the fold, a metaphor for mature and new believers!

Big Church, Little Church

I have this idea that proper Christians drive minivans to church every Sunday with their families. Or are seniors with grown families, who mingle looking for newcomers to welcome into the fold. Churched youngsters marry early so as not to 'burn with passion', and they take on adult responsibilities early by starting a family. And that worship means singing, period.
Where do these stereotypes come from? Of course I fit none of them, and secretly feel ashamed for this. Divorced with no children, remarried, no success to speak of, and - wait, I do drive an SUV. Perhaps worst of all, I don't attend 'regular' church. I attend small group Bible studies and a Christian writers' group, study Christian books, watch occasional Christian TV shows, and socialize with Christian friends. I tried so hard to fit in at church, but I don't like to sing and dread mingling after the service. I like sermons, but most services are held in the morning before I feel alert enough to socialize.
So does this make me a bad Christian? I have unfortunately read books that suggest so. However, the Bible is not one of them. Sure I have failures in my life, but failing to meet or connect with Christians is not among them, even if it is not in a large, crowded setting.

²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

Frozen Ideas

Like the coldness in this picture, I sometimes freeze up as a writer. Ideas pile up like snow, but don't get written. God is an infinite source of wonder, though. Romans 1:20 (NIV) says "For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Examining nature can be a good place to begin to meditate on the qualities of God, since there they will be clearly seen.

Take the Easy Way

Meekness is sometimes defined as power under control, the idea being to live within reasonable limits. Jesus said ²⁹ "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11 29-30 NIV). At times my work and activities were very demanding, requiring me to extend myself physically and mentally beyond what I should have. I had no knowledge at the time that what God desired for me would not feel burdensome, but could be described as "light and easy". The heaviness, unrest, and burdens we carry from overextending ourselves are often ones we have chosen. 

Wisdom Is Better Than Strength

"In her new book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, author Susan Cain ... argues that over the past century there has been a  shift in society, from a culture of character to a culture of personality."*

It reminds me of a story in Ecclesiastes 9:15-16 NIV  "Now there lived in that city a man poor but wise, and he saved the city by his wisdom. But nobody remembered that poor man. So I said, "Wisdom is better than strength." But the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded."

Even today it seems like wisdom is more welcome coming from wealthy people. We listen to celebrities, for example, because of their fame and success. What a relief that God not only loves the popular, but delights to give character to any who seek Him.

* excerpt from "Introverts No Longer the Quiet Followers of Extroverts", by Carl Moore and Rebecca Black, www.forbes.com, 8/22/2012

I Am By Design

A study showed that people could be identified when they were just 4 months old as extroverts or introverts with a high degree of accuracy. This, and other research done with identical twins, suggests a genetic component to the development of temperament.*
At times, I lied to myself about about my own temperament. I thought people were essentially the same other than size and gender. I liked 'rugged' as a description, wore a leather coat and work boots. I sought active jobs that required little concentration, but I wore out and eventually gave them up. Choosing unsuitable jobs led to limited success! I despised myself and envied others. 
Now, I believe differently. According to Romans 9:20-21 NIV ^{20 "}But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” ²¹ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?" So I must learn to accept myself and choose suitable work. For God is kind to us, “God is mighty, but does not despise men; he is mighty, and firm in his purpose." (Job 36:5).

* from "Quiet", Susan Cain, Crown Publishers, 2012, pg. 99-100, 104-105.